Summer Comes To Multiply
by IWillBeThereWhereYouAre
Summary: Reid and Austin decide to take things slow... with mixed results. Reid/Austin. Spoilers through 52 Pickup.
1. A Long Visit

_**AN: This is my first foray into Criminal Minds, so I apologize as I start getting a feel for the characters… But **__**this little ditty just wouldn't leave me alone, no matter how hard I tried to focus on schoolwork. Isn't that usually how it works? Fortunately summer is upon us and my schedule is opening up considerably, so hopefully I will be able to continue posting. :D**_

_**Now, without trying to make this author's note longer than the story, let me provide a little disclaimer/observation. I enjoyed Austin as a character, and I wanted to see how the two of them would approach a relationship. In this story I will be taking some liberties in "creating" Austin (since all we know about her is that she's a bartender that needed rescuing by the FBI). So if my "version" of Austin conflicts with your own, I'm sorry.**_

_**Also, if anybody could help me out with what you feel her last name should be (or is—I looked everywhere and found nothing), I would be eternally grateful.**_

_**Okay, enough babbling. On to the story!**_

**--**

**Chapter One – A Long Visit  
**

Impulsiveness.

It was a gift and a curse simultaneously for Austin. On one hand, it gave her some of the greatest times of her life. That weekend trip to Nashville, when the car broke down and they hitched a ride with a Poison tribute band, came to mind. It would not have happened had she been born cautious and fastidious. But on the other hand, it led to some bad decisions. Ninety percent of her boyfriends fell under the category of bad decisions. And then that whole near-death experience with the serial killer, having to be rescued by federal agents. Had she not made the impulse to knock over that drink, things might have changed. But for the moment, she tried to focus on the positive. Her relationship with Spencer Reid might not have gone in this direction had she not saved that woman.

She wanted Reid to be different. He was someone she did not wish to regret.

So she insisted on taking it slow. Friends first, then wherever it ended up, it ended up. Emails between shifts, the occasional phone call. He even wrote her letters. Long handwritten letters in his carefully-scrawled writing, describing his escapades in big and generally unpronounceable words. She always kept a dictionary nearby when she reads them, just in case.

Slowly, his words became the highlight of her day. She would check her email hourly. Her heart would flutter every time she saw a mail truck. In short, she had become addicted to his words and his thoughts, constantly searching for ways to get a fix.

Taking a deep breath, trying to calm her rapidly-increasing heart rate, she tried to focus on the task at hand.

A trip to New Mexico had been planned to visit her sister, who very possibly had the right idea of staying close to home. Sometimes she would lay awake and wonder how different her life might have been had she not moved to Georgia on a whim and a prayer. She would not have been in the bar that night, she would not have been captured and held by a psychotic killer and stared death straight in the face.

Then again, she might not have met Reid. The only bright spot in the dark abyss that her life was.

Her wandering mind not included, she was in the middle of folding her last pair of shorts when her computer beeped happily. She knew that sound well, and once again her heart raced at the sound. That beeping noise meant a new email, which probably meant a new email from Spencer.

Smiling smugly when her thoughts were confirmed, she clicked on the new email.

_To: Austin_

_Sent at 4:21 pm_

_Subject: This weekend_

_Hello._

She couldn't help but contain her laughter. He always started every email so formally. A Hello was about as casual as she would be getting. Of course a genius wouldn't use words like "Hey" or "what's up".

_You're probably packing up for your vacation. On a side note, did you know it's estimated that there were more than a million new cases of nonmelonoma skin cancer in the US in 2008, and 1000 resulted in death? All the more reason to pack the sunscreen._

_Anyways, I just wanted to let you know I'll be on a case in Albuquerque this weekend. And while I'm not sure if I will have time to see you, or if you'll even be in the same vicinity as I am, I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to get drinks or something should the time permit?_

_Dr. Spencer Reid_

_Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit_

How two paragraphs had such a profound effect on her blood pressure, she'll never be certain of. All she knew was that there was the slightest chance she would be seeing Reid over the weekend. It felt like high school all over again, the intense anxiety over boys. It was exhilarating in a sense, as well as nerve-wracking.

The past two months his face had appeared in countless dreams and several nightmares as well. Time had taken away the clarity of his features, but his comforting presence was unmistakable.

Her fingers clacked against the keyboard in a hurry as she typed a response. The email sent, she snapped her laptop shut, and continued packing.

–

He was a nervous wreck sending the e-mail. Would it come off as forward asking her for drinks, especially when he was uncertain he'd have the time to partake? Was this advancing their relationship to a pace far more rapid than anticipated?

But he realized his life was filled with missed chances, so this was one risk he _had_ to take.

His shaky hands hit send, not sure when his misery would be ended by a response.

Writing to Austin was not quite the chore it was with his mother. He _wanted _to write, and he loved the letters he received back. He could clearly hear her distinct voice in the written words, and it comforted him wherever he was. On the plane. In his apartment. Wherever he was, he could carry a piece of her with him everywhere. Not that he would ever _admit _that. It would appear to be borderline stalker. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her away.

He finished throwing some recently-laundered clothes into a bag, preparing for wheels-up in two hours. Unfortunately, a series of child abductions in Albuquerque was waiting for the team there.

Five minutes passed. It felt seriously disturbed keeping watch of the inbox, waiting for a response. As if Austin was just waiting by her computer, waiting for an email she was not expecting. She probably wouldn't even receive the message until a week from now, and once again Spencer Reid screwed everything up. But he tried his hardest to remain positive and upbeat.

When his menu showed one new email, a reply from Austin, his relief quickly shifted to mortification. Of course she would be saying no. Why wouldn't she say no? His hands shaking, he clicked on the new message, and prepared himself for the worst.

_To: Spencer_

_Sent at 4:28 pm_

_Subject: RE: This Weekend_

_Cool. Call me when you get a chance._

He took a deep breath, and felt the inflation of his hopes swell in his heart.

–

Flying had never been a real problem with her. It wasn't like a little turbulence sent her into a panic attack—she had real-life memories that had that ability. Flying was no different to her than driving or sitting in her apartment.

But her flight today was an entirely different experience. She was excited. Even though it was a long shot that he would have the time away from his job, she kept her hopes up. There was a chance, as small as it was, that she would be seeing Reid …

She turned up her headphones, her favorite song playing optimistically as the plane flew through the white clouds...

–

He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and get what little rest he could. This case was looking tougher than originally anticipated, and he would probably spend several sleepless nights helping the team find that missing girl. But he was just too wired up to even sleep.

Time permitting, he was going to see Austin. The first time since their online courtship began.

Of course, he wouldn't call email and phone call exchanges as courtship. They had never even officially been on a date before, so why would interchanges across state lines count as a courtship? It made his head spin a little thinking about the socially-acceptable boundaries on relationships. Especially considering he had never really been in a _real_ relationship...

In desperate need of winding down, he shifted himself into a more comfortable position in the chair, and slipped in his headphones. The first song that came on instantly made him think of Austin. It had been on a playlist she had sent him at some point, songs that he had to download. This had been the first, and the one she claimed was her absolute favorite. _I could not imagine a more optimistic song than this one. _

His eyelids fluttered shut as he listened to the upbeat melody. And in that brief moment of sleep, he dreamed of her beautiful face.

–

It was astonishing that she managed to sleep as much as she had. Normally her little nephew would jump on her mattress or cry until sleep was impossible. But somehow she made it until nine that morning. Jet lag usually debilitated her, but now that she actually got some uninterrupted sleep, it was manageable.

Her sister's newly renovated house smelled like paint, drywall, and the polyester in the new carpet. Marrying a wealthy doctor had benefitted her greatly in the financial aspect. This was probably the third renovation in the new house.

Austin found her sister sitting on a stool, crouched over the paper at the table. "I thought you'd want to sleep in, so I sent Jake to stay with a friend." Her eyes never left the paper. She just read and sipped. "I got to tell you, the quiet is nice."

"Thanks." Austin yawned and made her way towards the coffee that smelled too tantalizing to refuse. Even if she did not desperately need the caffeine, she needed the ritual that morning coffee provided.

Her sister shifted, finally setting her paper down. "So how are you holding up?" Both knew what topic was being discussed.

"Fine, I guess. Some days are better than others."

Her sister merely nodded. "You know if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"I know." She put on a smile. As much as she loved her sister, this was just not something that they could discuss openly. The nightmares, the fear, it was all too deep to discuss.

Charlotte returned to her paper and her turquoise mug of coffee. "So are you ever going to tell me his name?"

"Whose name?" Austin had been so diligent in not letting her feelings for Reid show in her intuitive sister's presence.

"The guy you're thinking about. I know that look in your eye that you get when you're swooning over some guy. Is this another wanna-be rock star, or future inmate?"

"It's not like that." In essence she was admitting there _was _a guy. "His name is Spencer. He's..." as if she was embarrassed. "He's a genius."

"Yeah, I've heard that one before."

"Honestly, he is a legal genius. He has an IQ of like 180, and he has an eidetic memory." Her sister raises one perfectly-tweezed eyebrow. "Yeah, I had to Google that one."

"Sounds like a real catch." There is a subtle and unintentional undertone of sarcasm on that. She amended quickly, "The question is, is he cute?"

At that, Austin smirked and nodded, beginning the girliest of girl talks over coffee in a long time.

–

Overnight, the case had become one of their roughest in a while. What had, on paper, seemed like the average child abduction had quickly become a tangled web of deceit, betrayal, and envy. Every new discovery on the case made things infinitely more complicated. And with time running out for Ian Matthews, every waking minute was spent on this case.

And as awful as it was, a little piece of him was distracted. Not enough to cloud his judgment and miss important case details; just enough to make him noticeably pensive. Austin was only to be in town for three more days. He longed for the win-win situation of solving the case with satisfactory results for the Matthews' family, and the opportunity to be close to her.

"Something on your mind, kid?"

Derek Morgan noted this distraction, and Reid inwardly regretted letting his emotions physically manifest like that. If he wasn't careful, his tightly-held secret would unravel before everyone.

"I'm fine." The lie didn't even sound convincing to him.

"I know that look in your eyes, something is making that brain of yours race. What is it?"

"It's nothing. I'm just thinking about the case."

"Right." Morgan still didn't believe him. Normally a skeptical Morgan remained inquisitive, but he refocused himself on the case. "What was this street again?"

"Bowe Street." He smirked to himself. Even though the name was not the correct spelling, he couldn't help but remember Austin's obsession with the 70s glam rocker.

"I caught that smirk, Reid. And as soon as this case is over, you _will_ be spilling everything."

Despite Morgan's insistence on getting that information, Reid had experience in avoiding the sharing of personal information. He would prattle off some useless statistic, instantly annoying whoever was instigating, and he'd escape while they were reeling. It wasn't often he needed to employ this strategy, but it was comforting to have in his arsenal.

And the two pulled onto the street, unaware that they were only two houses down from Austin.

–

"How long do you plan on staring at your phone?"

In all honesty, Austin hadn't realized she'd been checking her calls habitually. It was done mostly out of habit, waiting for Reid to call. But the two were at the park, watching Jake sift his little fingers through the sand.

Two days. He hadn't called or emailed in the last two days, no matter how many times she checked. And while she knew it was due to his occupation, it did not quell her own anxiety. She wanted desperately to see him, and couldn't stop thinking about what might have been preventing him from seeing Spencer Reid. She was extremely worried, mostly about him and his safety. Still, her vacation would soon be over. Her main concern was that the hourglass would drop every last grain of sand before she got to hear from Spencer.

Time was literally running out for the two of them.

--

**Should I continue posting this? Will our couple finally get to see each other? Will I stop asking absurd questions and imagining a soap-opera organ playing music in the background? :D Seriously, though. Please review. I'd appreciate the feedback.**

**Also, there will be a lot of musical references in this story, and soon I will have the playlist up on my profile. The story title (and all chapter titles) are coming from Blood Bank and For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver. If you haven't heard them, listen to both. ;) On my profile ****I will also be listing all the links for statistics Reid mentions. Because I am by no means that intelligent to pull them out of my hat. :)**

**Please review!**


	2. Don't Let It Form Us

**:D Thanks for all the support! I'm glad I'm not the only one who wanted to see more of Austin/Reid. Here's the next installment...**

--

**Chapter Two – Don't Let It Form Us**

She hated getting drunk. Or buzzed, for that matter. Losing control over her speech, actions, and the general course of her life was just not something she ever aimed to do. And then there was history to disprove that getting smashed was ever a good idea. So whenever she was in a social situation where alcohol was involved, she always enjoyed in moderation. Sometimes she would designate herself the driver of her group; sometimes she would enjoy a beer or two, or something that could barely be considered alcoholic. And this attitude he was rarely buzzed, let alone drunk.

But on the eve of her plane ride home, she was enjoying herself imprudently.

"It was so stupid of me to get my hopes up!" She declared, leaning up against the table, nearly tipping over the glass that only held ice now. "I know what kind of work he does, and I knew there was a chance he wouldn't have time for me. But I just wanted to see him so bad!"

Her time in Albuquerque was nearly spent, and he never called. The rational part of her knew that his job had to come first—the missing children that he and the team were searching for obviously held higher prestige. But that didn't stop the foolish, emotionally-driven part of her from wishing she could have just had one moment with him. To hear his voice. To see his face.

So she attempted to fill that little void in her heart with Amaretto sour.

When the bartender wandered by, offering more drinks, Charlotte refused for the both of them. Austin was about to protest when she raised her hand. "I think you've had enough."

"I'm thirsty!" She groaned, pressing her forehead against the table and burying her head beneath her hands. She wasn't drunk—she _knew _what she was like drunk—this was a rapidly growing buzz. And despite her longing to forget her foolish wishes, she knew that this alcohol consumption just couldn't continue any longer. "Actually, can I get a glass of water?"

The bartender agreed, and went off to get the cool glass of water. Charlotte smiled proudly at her little sister. "That's very grown up of you."

"I know. When did I start becoming an adult, and how do I make it stop?" A wry giggle escaped her lips. She had always been the _young_ one. As a child, it had been a physical trait. Then Charlotte grew up and got married straight away, and acted responsible. And it was Austin that was off on her own adventures, living for herself and herself alone.

A fraction of her wanted to live for something—someone—else. Perhaps that was what Spencer, or at least what her idea of Spencer's companionship, was. Someone else to live for.

–

To call or not to call...

The only way anyone was going to be able to make it through the night was heading out for drinks together. The image of Ian Matthews' mutilated corpse resonated with all of the agents, and was a particularly mortifying image. It had been at Emily's suggestion that they headed to the Moonlight Lounge and unwind before their flight tomorrow afternoon.

And while the others sought to forget the tragedy of a young life cut short, Reid had something else on his mind.

He had not made any attempts to contact Austin in the last three days. And while he hoped she would understand that it was his job that occupied him so fully, in all honesty he was afraid. Afraid that she would take it personally. Afraid that he had somehow managed to screw up the last good thing to happen to him in a very long time.

Afraid that, if he were to actually hit send on his phone—the phone he had been staring diligently at for the last twenty minutes—he would face his inevitable rejection.

"Are you going to actually make a call, or just stare at it all night?" Emily asked, the first smile gracing her lips since landing in New Mexico. It was not amusing to Reid that his personal anguish and contemplation entertained his coworkers. Even Hotch cracked a faint smile as the young genius turned a fierce shade of red.

Morgan stood from his perch and wandered towards Emily and Spencer. "Now hold on a second. This doesn't have anything to do with your behavior these past three days, does it?"

"No!" He practically squealed, his voice too high to _not_ be telling a lie. Surrounded by profilers, he knew his secret would be discovered inevitably. "I was thinking of calling an old friend that lives in the area."

"A friend." Morgan said that word with such disdain. "This is a girl we're talking about here, right?"

"Just out of curiosity, what makes you think it's a girl?" David Rossi asked as he sipped on his beer.

"What else would make our little genius here blush so much?" Morgan's demeanor had gone from playful teasing to scientific inquisitive. As if Spencer's social life had become something in need of analysis. "An old high school rival? No. A relative? Not a chance. Only one thing makes our boy blush, and that is a member of the fairer sex."

The easiest way to derail an awkward conversation was rambling about theories or statistics. "You know, it's a common misconception that the phrase "fairer sex" refers to skin or hair color. In fact, there is no studies that suggests women are "fairer" in that sense before or after puberty."

"You're avoiding the subject, Reid." Morgan cut straight through Reid's diversion. "Why don't you just call her? What do you have to lose?"

He cleared his throat. "My dignity, self-confidence..."

Morgan picked the phone up from the table, and slapped it into the young agent's hand. "Take a chance, Reid. You never know if your gamble will pay off or not unless you take the risk."

–

"It's getting late, and you've got a plane to catch tomorrow." Charlotte looked down at her watch, and then back up at her sister. Austin looked across the room at the neon-lit clock. It was only 8:20. Since when was her sister such a square? But rather than put up a loud and sloppy fight, Austin agreed to return home and sleep off this unfortunate state of regret and misery. It was probably for the best.

"I'll go pay the tab, you get the car." Even though she was able to walk in a straight line and think coherently, there wasn't a chance she would let herself drive. She grabbed her purse and headed towards the bar to pay their tab.

She was two steps away from the register when her shoulder grazed a passing man's, causing the drink in his hands to spill on her. The salt-and-peppered man was instantly apologetic.

"I am so sorry, miss." His sincerity in apologizing was unmistakable; but that did not stop Austin from smelling of beer, or being a little peeved by their encounter.

The bartender, who had witnessed the spill, rushed to the duo, napkins in hand. She patted them against the red fabric of her dress, hoping that it wasn't beyond repair.

"I'm real sorry. Why don't you let me buy you a drink to make up for it?"

"I'll take a rain check." Not that she ever had any intention of getting a drink with this stranger. He seemed much older than she was, and that was definitely not her thing. But still, Austin couldn't shake the feeling that this man seemed familiar. Like she'd seen him before… _That is definitely the liquor talking, _she convinced herself with a laugh. "I was just heading out anyways."

He pulled out a slip of paper from her hand. "Here's my card. Call me if you ever want that drink." A business card and a wink. _If this was flirting_...

She read the professionally-designed card, and noticed his place of employment. "You're from the FBI?"

"Guilty as charged." He answered with a crooked grin. The pieces fell into place. He had been there that fateful night. That was what had made him feel so familiar. And if one FBI agent was in this club, then odds are there were more of them. Her heart palpitated at the thought of being in his proximity.

"You don't happen to know Spencer Reid, do you?"

–

Reid snapped his phone shut, thoroughly disappointed with the results his risk-taking had yielded. And even though he could not blame his lack of social skills—that would require a pick-up and some dialogue—it was undeniable to the team's youngest agent that he was to blame.

"She probably has it on silent or something." Emily noted Reid's dejection immediately and wanted to comfort her crestfallen coworker.

He slipped his phone back into his pocket, and took a sip of his water, wishing it had been something a little stronger. "It went straight to voice mail. She's probably screening her calls."

"_Or_ maybe her phone was off. Dead battery. It could be anything, Reid. Don't be so hard on yourself." In an abrupt turn-about from earlier, Morgan's previous derision had turned to a sympathetic pat on Reid's skinny back.

For the first time the entire night, Reid declared, "I think I need a drink."

Not one of the other agents protested at the genius' mission towards the bar. He had not been gone for two minutes when Rossi walked from the opposite direction Reid had headed, and was leading a beautiful brunette.

"Sure didn't take _you_ long to find someone." Emily muttered under her breath and under the cover of some loud jazz music blaring.

"You will never guess who I ran into." David Rossi declared, a grin saturated with self-satisfaction. But as his eyes scanned around the table, he noted one absence and his smile faded. "Where's Reid?"

"He went to get a drink." Morgan stated, then offered his hand to Austin. "Derek Morgan."

"Austin." She loathed formal introductions, and was still a little wary of giving out her last name. Years of being a bartender taught her to hold on to some information. "I'm actually an old friend of Spencer's."

The agents all exchanged knowing and semi-amused glares—could this be the "friend" that Reid had just tried calling?

"He should be back pretty soon, unless he fell in somewhere." Emily laughed, though a part of her knew that Reid was a magnet for mischief and peril. "Why don't you join us? Have a seat?"

"I can't stay. My sister's waiting outside for me." Internally, she was cursing herself for giving such a paper-thin excuse. It wasn't _that _late, and Charlotte would understand. "I just thought I'd say hi before I left."

And the way things were looking, she'd be leaving without seeing Spencer. Her heart sank a little at the thought. She had been waiting anxiously for three days, glaring at her phone and mentally willing it to ring. Would she really squander this opportunity so easily?

_Time to take a risk_, she thought to herself. "Actually, I think I'll stay."

--

"How long does a glass of scotch take?" Reid muttered; for him, five minutes was an awful long time to be waiting for a drink. But the crowd had grown since they entered the club, so an increased volume of drinkers was inevitable. It did not ease his impatience knowing that fact.

Finally, the bartender slapped a drink in front of him. "Sorry for the wait, sir."

"Not a problem." It _had _been a problem, but it was his experience just to let those kinds of things slide. He took his drink, and began navigating through the crowd. Pushing through groups of strangers standing in circles, he had to fight to return to the group. When he reached the table they had been occupying, it surprised him to see only one female—a brunette with hair a much lighter shade of brown than Emily's—sitting alone.

_Of course they'd move without me_, Reid sardonically thought to himself. He tapped the woman on the shoulder, hoping she had some information as to where his company had wandered off.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you know where..."

At that, the mysterious woman turned around and turned out to be not so mysterious. Austin greeted him with the most dazzling smile he had ever encountered. As if she had been living in the dark ages, and he was the first light.

"About time you showed up." He had almost forgotten how beautiful her voice sounded. And the way her wispy hair brushed against her smooth skin. Every detail that he enjoyed about her suddenly returned in an instant of absolute rapture.

In essence, he had forgotten how beautiful she was, and how much he missed her.

"Austin, I'm so sorry that I never called. The case was much more difficult and time consuming than first anticipated, and it's not that I _didn't _want to call…" He was bumbling. Of all the rehearsed speeches he'd imagined on their meeting, this apologetic whimpering was not envisioned. He was hoping for something a little more debonair. Something that would possibly sweep her off her feet.

Of course, he would go off on a run-on sentence sprint like that.

"Forget it, Spencer. You're here now." With those six words, she silenced his rapid fire words instantly. Her voice was so even; not one hint of offense rested in her speech. Like she wasn't even upset that he never called her. "We're here. Together." Reid sat down across the table from her, clutching his glass of scotch, hoping that his shaking hands wouldn't give away how nervous he was.

He took a sip from his drink, and she took a sip from hers.

And it was the last thing either one of them remembered doing.

**--**

**I'm sorry of this chapter wasn't very good, it felt very awkward to me. But unfortunately I am far too exhausted from graduating (!!) to re-write. Updates will be coming sooner now that I am liberated.**

**But please review! They make me so perfectly and incandescently happy. ;)**


	3. So Many Foreign Worlds

**Chapter Three – So Many Foreign Worlds**

_The next morning...._

Alarm clocks were, to Austin, the absolute worst sound in the world. The obnoxiously loud buzzing was not an agreeable way to start the morning under the best of circumstances. But given her current hangover-related headache, the normally loud buzzing felt like a jackhammer to her temple. Against her will, she opened her eyes and groggily examined the beeping clock. A little bit past six.

_My flight isn't until noon_, she thought to herself, trying to brush past the cobwebs of sleep in her head. _Why on earth would I set the alarm that early?_

She realized that she could not recall setting her alarm clock. The last tangible memory she possessed was of Spencer Reid's smiling face.

Reid. He had been at the bar last night. She'd had a fortunate encounter—if one of his coworkers spilling beer on her favorite dress counted as "fortunate"--and ended up staying. Charlotte had been upset, and would not spare her the maternal rap later. But spending what she vaguely remembered as a pleasant evening with Spencer made it worth it. And despite her lack of specific memories of last night, she couldn't help but feel happy. Like something really great had happened in her inebriated state.

And then two more details came to light: one, this was not the guest bed in Charlotte's house. And two, she was not the sole occupant of the strange bed.

She recognized his shaggy, dishwater blond hair first. It was disheveled and spread around his unmoving face, looking suspiciously like a haystack. His chest rose and fell slowly in a repetitive pattern. The golden light of sunrise was filtering in through the window, and reflecting sweetly against his pale skin. The whole moment was pure poetry.

Like the sun's amber rays, her memories of the night's events slowly filtered in...

_She's tapping her heels, impatiently waiting for the bartender to return with her drink. The way Spencer is inhaling his scotch proves he is nervous. The fact that he is growing tense causes her to spin off into contemplation of whether she should be nervous or not. And now they are both terrified._

"_So..." Maybe small talk will ease his electric nerves. He finishes off the glass. "How'd the case go?"_

"_Not ideal. We caught the unsub, but we couldn't save the boy." It was unlike him to give details so openly about a case. Perhaps this was the alcohol loosening his lips, or possibly the intoxicating presence of the girl he fancied. "How's your vacation going?"_

"_Pretty average. Played with my nephew, went shopping, that kind of thing…" She took another sip of her drink when her speech just kind of faded out. Even though the club was filled with people chatting noisily, between Austin and Spencer there is total and absolute silence. It was as if a black hole had occupied the space between them._

"_Are you alright? You seem extremely nervous." She might as well state the obvious._

"_Psychologically speaking, men form their first impressions of women in the first fifteen minutes, but it takes a woman almost an hour to form their opinions."_

_She couldn't help but smile at his attempt at small talk. "So you're worried you're not making a good first impression?"_

"_This is the first time we've ever… been…" He was reluctant to say the word "date" because he was terrified of seeming too forward. Austin's smile had intensified to the point where her cheeks were burning. He cleared his throat, and tried again. "We haven't seen each other in a long time, and I don't want to ruin things between us."_

_The bartender finally brought Austin her drink, something stronger than she probably should have been drinking. She took it, and raised it in a toast. "In that case, to new beginnings."_

_And as their glasses clinked together, something sparked. All nervousness between them seemed to evaporate._

He flipped over in the bed, exposing his bare chest. She could almost count his ribs. How had she not realized how _skinny _he was? Sweater vests and dress pants certainly masked his emaciated frame better than originally thought. But that was not as important as another detail, pertaining to his nudity.

Another memory broke through her hazy sense of last night. How they had both managed to get wherever they were.

_He was unloosening his tie with absolute urgency. As if the world would come to a crashing halt if he didn't get that purple and green tie from around his neck. Her lips never left his, and it felt like they had found their home. He threw off his shoes, exposing two mismatched socks._

_Noting the oddity, she raised an eyebrow towards him. His cheeks turned a faint pink._

"_Long story." He sounded out of breath. Of course, making out as voraciously as they had been had the ability to wind many a fellow. They returned to the kissing, and with great force, she pushed him up against the wall._

"_Wait." Had she pushed him too far? "We're moving too fast."_

_She took a long breath. He was right. "You're right." The night had escalated quickly. Small talk in a crowded club became "I need some air." Standing outside with the smokers and those unfortunate enough to not get into the club had become a walk back to his hotel._

_She had taken yet another risk by grabbing his hand in the rapidly-cooling New Mexican night, and was given extraordinary dividends as he tightened his grip on her hand. To her, it was a signal that he liked her just as much as she liked him. Feeling like a middle schooler again, nervously contemplating whether the boy was interested or not, Austin basked in the excitement that this new relationship brought. _

_Once they were alone in the elevator, all self-control was lost._

_Which was how they had ended up at that moment, staring _

"_Oh, to hell with it." Austin exclaimed, forsaking her promise to approach things slowly, and resumed the kissing and stripping of clothing._

_And from the look in Spencer's eyes, he hardly objected to proceeding._

–

She poked his shoulder, gently at first. But he hardly even flinched at her touch. _Heavy sleeper, just like me_, she thought to herself. Normally it took a demolition crew to rip her apart from the matress when she was sleeping. Her lips pressed against his ear, she whispered softly, "Spence. Wake up." It was her intention to sound sultry yet sweet. But with all the surprises she'd discovered this morning, the shock was unable to disguise, even in her whisper.

He started to stir, his thin frame slowly shifting around. His eye lids fluttered open, exposing those sweet blue eyes that had the ability to melt her into a puddle with one glance. At first, he did not seem to register his surroundings at all.

"You... and I..." Apparently he was just as surprised as she was.

"Yep." Her voice sounded a little more dejected than she intended it to. He sat up, covering up a little more of his naked frame than had been, and ran his hands through his tousled hair.

"Were we... safe?" She had heard him rant endlessly, rattling off statistics and facts that she had never encountered before. But to watch Spencer Reid, with countless college degrees, lost for words... it was staggering.

Still, that thought had crossed her mind. She sifted through the night's events, desperate to find that one piece of information. Then...

_He's fumbling with the plastic wrapper, the obnoxious crinkling on par with the annoying guy unwrapping his candy bar at the movie theater._

"_Can you get it?" She asks with a drunken giggle. The irony is not lost on her—the genius can't unwrap a condom. It opens, and both of them smile at each other, and start up again where they had been before._

–

"Good." Spencer parted his lips—no doubt ready to prattle off some pregnancy or venereal disease statistic—but to Austin's surprise, he remained silent. He pursed his lips, and had the most intense look of concentration on his face. Holding back obviously wasn't easy.

The two bedfellows stared quietly at each other, reeling from their discovieries. Austin was waiting for regret to kick in. The intense feeling of guilt to linger in her stomach like a flu, making her regret the night's course of events. Their relationship had originally been set on a steady cruise control, and it immediately careened out of control.

Yet she felt _comfortable_ lying in bed with him. Like this was someplace she could get used to staying.

"What time is your flight?" She asked, pressing her head back to the pillow. Her head was throbbing, and she was praying she could get even a few more minutes of shut-eye.

He followed her lead, resting his head a few inches across from her. His eyes never left hers. "Three, I think. Yours?"

"Noon." Which became a solemn reminder of her life outside of this moment. "I should probably get back to my sister's. She's probably worried about me."

_She's dialing her phone. Totally uncharacteristically, Spencer is giggling just a little. At what, no one is very certain. The fact that Austin was just as adorable drunk as she was when sober, the fact that it took her three tries to find her sister's number from her cell phone list... They stumbled towards the elevator, still holding hands._

"_Hey Char, it's me." She's dragging out her syllables unecessarily. "I'm at Spencer's hotel. Don't wait up for me, okay?" She snapped her cell phone shut, and smiled at Spencer. _

_The elevator door shut._

Austin closed her eyes, "She's going to be so mad."

"It'll be fine. You're an adult, she's an adult. She'll understand." Then she felt something brush against her bare arm. A hand, running along the exposed skin. She opened her eyes, and saw that it was Spencer, in a sympathetic act, rubbing her arm.

He immediately retracted his hand, and looked like a child caught in the cookie jar. "I'm sorry."

She laughed softly, lightening Spencer's serious expression slightly. "Don't be."

"I'm not good at this."

From what she could recall of last night, that sentence did not ring true in her eyes.

"Social situations, I mean." He amended, then clammed up out of embarassment. Somehow he _still _needed to explain, so he tried. "Last night, it wasn't my... um, first time." The longer he stammered, the more he blushed. Austin couldn't help but note the adorable shade of pink he was turning. "It was just one of the few that wasn't painfully awkward."

Austin smiled. _"_What I can remember of last night, you were better than you think."

His shade turned from pink to bright red, and she thought his head might just explode from embarassment. Still, he clearly lacked confidence in this area, so she thought to take a chance. She scooted closer and closer towards him, the blankets wrapped up between their bodies. Her cheek pressed up against his chest, she could measure his pulse easily. If he was uncomfortable by her fowardness, he hid it well. Soon his arms were wrapped around her.

"I don't really want to move from this exact spot." Partly because of her total exhaustion, but mainly because she felt happy just laying in his arms. The logical part of her knew she still had to go back to her sister's house and pack. She had to go to the airport, fly back home to her everyday life.

And worst of all, she had to say goodbye to Spencer.

"Can I buy you breakfast?" From the looks of things, he looked just as desperate to cling to her as she was to him. "I'd really like to talk to you."

Austin smiled to herself. _Chivalry isn't dead, after all. "_Sure. I'd like that."

–

He had been a gentleman and averted his gaze as she dressed herself in last night's clothes. It seemed odd at first, considering that he had already seen her naked. But he claimed a desire to protect her privacy, and that made her fall a little harder for the awkward genius.

Now they were walking through the empty lounge, looking over their shoulders every few seconds, like they were being preyed upon. She realized when they reached the shiny black SUV that his coworkers were staying at the same hotel. Discovering their walk of shame to the rented car would no doubt give them endless teasing material. So they snuck around together like they were playing an intense game of hide and seek.

The beginning of the car ride was silent. She wanted to turn up the radio, fill the empty chasm with more than just silence. But he seemed content with the silence, so she sat back.

Before he could ask where she wanted to get breakfast, she asked, "Can we stop at my sister's house first? That way I can change and get my things packed."

"Yeah, and I can drive you to the airport if you like." His eyes remained on the road, unwilling to look her in the eyes. In all actuality, he did not wish to seem too eager and scare her away. He wanted to spend every second with her that he could.

So she still had breakfast and a ride to the airport to enjoy his company. She planned on taking in every second that she could.

–

Spencer Reid found himself in a staring contest with Austin's four year old nephew, still in his Spiderman pajamas. Even though it was early in the morning by his standards, the child staring at him with wide eyes seemed fully awake.

"Who are you?" This was the third time that he had asked that question, and it would be the third time Spencer had responded.

Still, he chuckled. It was an entertaining situation. "My name is Spencer. What's yours?"

"Jake." The young boy was cautious, as he should be around strangers. "Are you mommy's friend or Auntie Austin's?" Caution turned to inquisition, and Spencer couldn't help but chuckle. He had seen Austin in many ways, but he still could not imagine the phrase auntie attached to her name.

Charlotte walked into the living room, noted the young boy hanging at Spencer's feet, and sat down next to him on the crisp white couch.

"Jake, go play downstairs." It was more of a suggestion and less of a demand from his mother

"Are you Auntie Austin's _boyfriend_?" He sounded amused by this concept. The way he twisted the phrase boyfriend made it sound like a tease or an insult, not the affectionate phrase it usually was.

Spencer appreciated the candor of her young nephew, and wished to reciprocate. However, this was a situation that could be easily explained to young and impressionable minds. So he simply said, "I hope so." It _was_ the truth.

"Jake, now." Charlotte sounded more stern this time, and Jake understood what that stringency meant. He rushed out of the room, tripping clumsily along the way.

"Sorry about that. He's a nosy little kid."

"It's alright, I don't mind." He cleared his throat, and fidgeted uncomfortably. _An FBI agent afraid of a little conversation, _Reid thought to himself wryly.

"So you're the genius." She glanced over Reid, as if he were something to be inspected. Her narrowed eyes , and he tried his hardest not to profile her. "Austin has told me all about you."

Whether or not that played in his favor, Reid wasn't sure. Either her sister held a positive image of him, which played to his advantage. Or she was hypercritical of him thanks to the highlighting of certain flaws. It made him tense up in anxiety.

"You can relax." She was laughing—the same warm, comforting laugh that he had heard errupt from Austin over the phone many times—so he felt a little less anxious hearing the sound. He also noticed now the similarities between the two.

"You can spare him the inquisition." Austin spoke up, her slender frame resting in the doorway with her suitcase in hand. _That certainly took less time than anticipated, _Reid thought to himself. Austin

"I'll wait in the car." He offered, and scurried out of the room before any protests could be posed.

"He seems nice." Charlotte said, and Reid shut the door behind him, cutting him off from all further conversation on the subject. He couldn't help but smile to himself, unable to deny that he had made a good first impression.

–

Reid understood that Austin needed copious amounts of time to say goodbye to her sister, but that did not make the minutes pass any faster. He sat in the car, impatiently waiting for her return. Each second apart from her seemed to stretch out endlessly. After a while, his eyelids began to droop, and he was unable to fight sleep's advances…

Sometime later, a soft rapping on the window woke him from his catnap. It took a few minutes of scrambling for him to be conscious of Austin, who was now standing just outside the door. He clambered to unlock the door and open it for her. She smiled, watching him stumble around in a half-asleep state. It was endearing in an awkward way.

"I'm sorry. I'm not really a morning person, and I guess I just kind of… fell asleep."

"No, I'm sorry it took so long." A twenty minute conversation, not including the hugs and goodbyes, felt like some kind of a punishment that she was unleashing on him. Still, Reid didn't seem angry over it, so the matter was dropped.

Just before he put the keys in the ignition, he glanced over to see silent tears running down her cheek. "Are you okay?" He asked, absolutely hating seeing her in pain. Too much of a coward to offer her physical comfort, he sought verbal consolation instead.

She rubbed her hand along the tear-stained trail down her pale cheeks and put on a smile. "I'm fine. I just... really suck at goodbyes." Her voice certainly sounded even enough that an emotional breakdown wasn't likely.

Without another word, Reid started up the car and drove towards the restaurant.

Neither of them really knew what to expect next.

**To be continued… I originally planned this as one chapter but found that they just had too much to say for one. Hopefully this longer chapter makes up for the lack of updates. I truly appreciate all the reviews I've been getting. :)**

**More to come! Stay tuned!**


	4. In The Morning

**Chapter Four – In The Morning**

Spencer was absolutely certain that it would be the conversation that would do him in. Trying to express to the girl he liked that he wished to pursue a relationship, especially in the context of a post-inebriation morning after, would presumably inflict mortal wounds to what was left of his confidence.

However. He found the silence that consumed the two of them in the distance between her sister's home and the family restaurant, to be more painful than trying to express his feelings. She was saying nothing. Occasionally she would bite her bottom lip, as if holding back words, but nothing ever came to fruition. So the conversation stalled to complete quiet as he drove along the road. He wanted to say _something_, just to end this placid drive, but lacked the courage.

This was all so foreign to him. Awkwardness was nothing new, really. But relationship-wise he was fairly inexperienced. He had certainly never been in _this_ position, trying to tell the girl that he drunkenly slept with the night before that he saw her as something more than a notch on a headboard.

Subconsciously trying to woo her, he opened doors and nodded politely as she thanked him. His somnolent eyes followed her dutifully, watching every step. The hostess led them through the cherry board paneled restaurant, leaving them one of the maroon vinyl booths. The small mom-and-pop restaurant was fairly crowded, but Austin and Spencer seemed very secluded from this early morning rush. The distant clattering of dishes and humming of conversations

They sat across from each other, examining every nook and cranny of the restaurant, desperate to avoid any real eye contact. The silence from the car ride carried over, and seemed to intensify now.

"So." She said with a sigh, and the faintest hint of a laugh. "Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room, or just stare at it?"

_You're failing miserably, _Spencer thought to himself. This wasn't a conversation he even knew how to start. Usually never at a loss for words, he found his thoughts scattered like papers across his desk. His exhausted mind was too cluttered with thoughts and fears to even process a conversation.

As if sent to save him, the overly-friendly and obviously-caffeinated waitress approached them, her little notepad in hand. "Can I get you two anything to drink?"

"Coffee." Both replied at the exact same time, with matching desperation for the caffeine pick-up. In that one moment, simple and mundane in nature, reminded them how deep their connection was. Not just the physical connection they had drunkenly shared last night. But how in the buildup to last night, they had mutually

After the waitress left to retrieve their coffee, Reid found himself smiling. _Now or never, _he thought. So he cleared his throat and began. "I've never really...been through this conversation before. Most of the time, they leave before I even get a chance to talk to them."

She reached across the table, and sympathetically brushed her hand along his. "I'm still here." Unsure if this was an appropriate reaction, she slowly curled her fingers into a fist and pulled it away.

Yet he couldn't help but smile—she was the first one that he truly wished _would _stay. "So, I guess what I want to say about last night..." She parted her tightly-pursed lips, about to speak up, but he absolutely had to say this before all his sudden courage disappeared. "I realize that I can only speak for myself when I say that, while the circumstances were regrettable of last night were regrettable, I don't believe the act itself was regrettable." _That came out wrong_, he thought to himself. He shook his head, starting to feel a little discouraged. "What I _m__eant _to say was that I'm not sorry..." That one felt even more painful than its predecessor.

And yet, once again he found her hand resting on top of his nervously wringing hands. And much to his chagrin, they did not leave immediately. "Spence, it's alright. I understand completely, and agree one hundred percent. I like you." What had been confidence in her demeanor before abruptly shifted to nervousness. She bit her lip nervously, and added, "A lot."

She looked at him—really, truly looked at him for the first time for the entire morning—and found something in his expression that conveyed that the feeling was mutual.

And for her, that was enough.

The waitress returned, bearing pale turquoise coffee mugs. Steam rose from the hot black liquid, and felt like it was heaven-sent to the sleepy pair. Austin ordered first, indulging herself with some Belgian waffles. Reid was a little simpler, sticking with scrambled eggs and toast. They sipped their coffee and chatted comfortably about a wide range of topics—none of which included last night's events. When their food arrived, they ate their breakfast, suddenly content in silence. There had been an unspoken tension before, but now that the tension had been relieved somewhat, the quiet wasn't quite as nerve-wracking. At least it was for Austin.

There was still something gnawing at Reid. He hated leaving anything in ambiguity. Everything in his realm need definition, and his relationship with Austin was no different. His biggest fear now was stepping outside of some boundaries he didn't know existed. In his eyes, Austin and he were dating. But just because he viewed things in that light did not mean Austin reciprocated that viewpoint.

Point blank, he needed to find out if they could call what they were doing, in simplest terms, dating.

Austin was lost in a fantasy, thinking about relationship definition when, suddenly, Spencer set down his fork. "It's a common conception that long distance relationships don't hold the _greatest _success rates. In fact, almost 90% don't last past the first year. But it feels like communication, which is the most crucial aspect in any relationship, is especially important when both parties are at such a distance. It feels like our communication is exceedingly strong, and theoretically..."

She smirked as she sliced another piece of her waffle and let his words sink in. "Spencer, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" She looked up, noticing how blaze red his cheeks now were. He stammered a little, and then confidently nodded. Her smirk turned into a full-on smile. "I was hoping you'd say that."

–

He never thought it was possible to smile so much that it actually hurt. All thirteen muscles were getting such a workout, that a strain seemed to be imminent. But there was not an instance of regret for Reid, because this was the absolute happiest he had ever been.

This happiness, he knew, would be bittersweet. Austin had just agreed to be his girlfriend, and now they would be saying goodbye to each other. His life was one long series of Catch 22's.

He was seeing her off on her flight. It was the absolute last thing he wanted to do, as he selfishly wanted every minute to be as happy as this one was. Standing in the middle of the crowded airport, in each other's arms. She had not broken away from him for the last ten minutes, not to look at him, not to check her flight. She just buried herself in his embrace, in absolute fear of goodbye.

"I told you I was terrible at goodbyes." The sound of her voice was muffled as she spoke into his chest. "I really wish I didn't have to go."

He sighed. "I wish you didn't have to, either."

"So let's just stay here. For all of eternity." She laughed wryly, knowing full well that both of them had lives outside of that airport. He had his FBI job, she had bartending and rent and countless other things that seemed trivial in comparison to this feeling of felicity. With a defeated sigh, she broke away from the tight hug and just looked up at his sweet brown eyes. The eyes that she would be missing the second she boarded that plane.

In that moment of looking at the beautiful woman in his arms, their eyes locked, Reid felt a wave of emotions that he had never truly experienced before. Euphoria, longing, sadness, love. And even though he was more times than not awkward and uncomfortable, he knew exactly what he wanted to do. And for once in his life, he took a risk without calculating the consequences.

Without a word, he lowered his lips and kissed Austin.

Her lips were soft, that was the first thought that popped into Reid's head. And the passion that he had put forth towards the kiss was met ten-fold by her. His hands pressed against the small of her back, and her body automatically drew closer towards his. Her hands ran through his hair. Clichés forsaken, it was as if the earth had stopped spinning for that fervent, two-minute kiss.

She drew back, and sighed dreamily. "I wish you wouldn't have done that." Reid had been filled with newfound confidence, which was quickly turning into regret, when she clarified, "It'll make saying goodbye even harder."

So it wasn't the kiss that she regretted, it was the goodbye. He sighed with relief. "I'm not sorry." Regret was the last thing he felt for that kiss.

She smiled. "Neither am I."

_This is confusing... _And yet, at the exact same time, it all made absolutely perfect sense.

As pleasant as the concept of staying together was, the boarding call was an inescapable reminder that their time was up. "Your flight is boarding."

"Yeah." She heaved a heavy sigh, and tightened her grip on him for just a second. "This isn't goodbye. I'll call you as soon as I land."

"Okay." Even though his head believed her, his heart couldn't help but know that this was goodbye for now. This would be the last time in God knows how long he would be seeing her right in front of him.

And as she walked away, he couldn't help but look forward to hearing her voice after she landed.

–

This was the part he was really, truly dreading. By this time, the team would be awake and presumably looking for their youngest team member. They knew about Austin (what details specifically they knew, he wasn't positive) and would endlessly mock him for it. His heart, still vulnerable from Austin's goodbye, just couldn't take that maltreatment.

He made his way quickly from the parking lot to the hotel lobby, keeping his head ducked. As if averting eye contact would save him from being identified. He had almost made it scot-free, almost to the elevator, when he heard vivacious laughter from behind.

Laughter that he recognized instantly as Derek Morgan's.

"Well, well, well... look who's trying to sneak back!" He said, still laughing. As if Reid's situation was the funniest comedy imaginable. Slowly, Reid turned around to find the entire team assembled in a sitting area in the lobby. _Of course they'd all be gathered here. Waiting to attack. _He thought cynically to himself.

"Where were you sneaking off so early in the morning?" Rossi spoke, his voice not nearly as entertained as Morgan had apparently been. Curiosity more than derision, Reid thought. "Prentiss went up to your room at eight and you weren't there."

"Yeah, I thought maybe we could get breakfast." Prentiss sounded only slightly jilted by his absence. She was more interested in getting the details than sharing a meal with a coworker.

Reid cleared his throat, and prepared himself for the lie. "I'm sorry, I had some personally matters to take care of." Ambiguous enough to not solicit more inquisitions, and not _completely _a lie.

"Personal matters?" Prentiss asked, raising an eyebrow and looking towards the other males in the room.

"Yes." Reid snapped back, unintentionally sounding more scornful than necessary.

"Take it easy. We're just curious. You should know by now that we all have this compulsive need to know _everything." _And now Rossi was trying to defuse the situation that was building. "Why don't we talk about something else?"

"Yeah." Morgan chimed in, a devious grin spread like a Cheshire cat. He turned his attention to Reid, and the genius braced himself for what was coming. "Like how the rest of your date went last night?"

And there it was, Reid thought to himself. A crack in Morgan's armor. There was a certain affliction to the way the word date was spoken, indicating a lack of belief that it actually _was _a date. For all they knew, it was an old friend.

An attractive friend that, after a drunken night of passion, had become his girlfriend. Yes, telling the team all the details would not go over well.

So Reid simply said, "It wasn't a date."

"Leave him alone, Morgan." Prentiss interceded, flaunting her maternal side, protecting Reid like she were a lion and he was her cub. "Just because every beautiful woman you've ever been..."

Was this the beginning to a compliment, a defense, or to an insult? Reid couldn't really distinguish... Either way, Prentiss was proving to be a superb distraction. Capitalizing on their misdirection, Reid rushed to the elevator. Each step he took carried him away from the inquisition, and a little closer to relief. He stepped into the elevator, mentally willing the doors to shut faster, when he noticed that he was not alone in the car. His boss, Aaron Hotchner, stood stoically. While everyone else seemed frazzled from their nights of drinking, the lead profiler looked as spick and span as always. It was intimidating to Reid, who was still nursing an awful hangover.

"Where were you?" Hotch's stern expression expressed more curiosity than anger or disappointment.

"Personal matters." Reid struggled to keep his voice even, unwilling to betray the secrets he was now carrying diligently. _He's a superb profiler, _Reid reminded himself. _There won't be hiding this for long._

Though Hotch did not press the matter any further, there was the slightest hint in his expression that suggested a deeper understanding. It was possible, if not extremely likely, that Hotch knew what those personal matters entailed.

Still, silence filled the space between them. And as the elevator climbed, neither profiler felt the need to

"You don't have anything to worry about. No one saw you leave the club last night, and no one saw you leave this morning." The two exchanged one last glance that spoke far more than any words could tell. Hotch was the only one who knew of last night's events, and would keep it that way.

Rather than a verbal thank you, Reid smiled and nodded. The elevator doors swung open, and Reid rushed to his room, desperate to make that flight home. There had been times where he'd been anxious to return home, simply to escape a case or to sleep in his own bed. But now, he was excited for a whole new reason.

He had something to truly look forward to: a phone call from his new girlfriend.

**You have been officially warned: the next chapter will be primarily fluff. :P Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, as well as sticking through as I try to write this little ditty. :D All feedback would be greatly appreciated!!**


	5. Solace My Game

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to my best friend, who let me borrow pieces of her life. :)**

**Chapter Five – Solace My Game**

Even buried in an avalanche of tedious paperwork, Spencer Reid was happy. Genuinely and unequivocally happy.

The entire team wondered aloud what could possible cause the young agent that normally loathed being bogged down in paperwork, be so content. Morgan was persistant, constantly finding the time to pester Reid, to find out what caused that smile of his to be so incandescent. Every time, Reid would shrug and his grin would grow a little wider.

Only _he_ knew his happiness was borne from his plans for the night.

After work, after every last T was crossed and every I dotted, would be his first official date with his new girlfriend. He did not view their drunken night in Albuquerque as their first date, nor was the breakfast the next morning. Tonight he would begin the true courtship of Austin. And the part that was most mind-boggling was that they would be over six hundred miles apart on their first date.

The idea had been conceived at some point in their week-long, multimedia conversation. It had been Austin's creation, and the simple genius of it was awe-inspiring. Dinner and a movie. Had there not been this considerable distance between them, this penultimate date probably would have been on the agenda. And as Austin said, "why should the distance stop us from acting like any other couple?"

And so Reid was excited. She had the night off, he wasn't on a case. Tonight he would order in some takeout, watch some movie on cable, talk to Austin all night. It was enough to put the most unerasable smile on his face.

He looked down at his watch, and reveled in the fact that he was just two hours from going home.

--

**Spencer1123 **has signed on

**ProbablyPlightless**: Are you there?

**Spencer1123 **has signed off

**ProbablyPlightless**: That's a no.

**Spencer1123 **has signed on

**ProbablyPlightless**: Computer problems?

**Spencer1123**: I think I solved it.

**ProbablyPlightless**: Good. :)

**Spencer1123**: Why can't we just talk on the phone?

**ProbablyPlightless**: Because I've probably burned through January's long distance minutes

already. Besides, this is what Char and I do every once in a while.

**Spencer1123**: Okay. You'll just have to suffer through any technical difficulties.

**ProbablyPlightless**: Is your takeout there? My stomach is growling.

**Spencer1123**: The doorbell just rang. Hold on.

**ProbablyPlightless**: Holding on...

**Spencer1123**: Alright. Thanks for waiting.

**ProbablyPlightless**: Thank God!

What are you having?

**Spencer1123**: Pineapple chicken curry.

You?

**ProbablyPlightless**: Cooked up chicken tettrazini and a glass of red wine.

**Spencer1123**: You cook?

**ProbablyPlightless**: I am a woman of many talents, Spence.

**Spencer1123**: Like coming up with creative usernames.

**ProbablyPlightless**: :P I created this a little while ago. It's a song lyric that effectively

described my state of mind at the time. Besides, Austin1234 was taken. :P

**Spencer1123**: It's my name and Fibbonacci's sequence (well, the beginning of it.)

**ProbablyPlightless**: Oh. Then it's very fitting. :P

**Spencer1123**: So how's work?

**ProbablyPlightless**: Alright. We hired a new bartender, who is actually pretty competent. Maybe I'll get more nights off. ;) How's the food?

**Spencer1123**: It was very good.

**ProbablyPlightless**: Was? You're done?

**Spencer1123**: Yes.

**ProbablyPlightless: **Did you eat it, or just inhale it?

**Spencer1123**: Unfortunately, it's a learned behavior. When you're on a case, you eat fast and whenever time permits.

**ProbablyPlightless**: Oh.

**Spencer1123: **If you want, I can

**ProbablyPlightless**: It's fine. I'll just hurry up.

**Spencer1123**: :)

**ProbablyPlightless**: Look at you!

You're warming up to this AIM chatting!

**Spencer1123: **It certainly grows on you. Just don't expect any LOLs or whatever jargon one uses.

**ProbablyPlightless:** That's okay. Rome wasn't built in a day either.

Okay, I'm done.

**Spencer1123: **Shall we start the movie, then?

**ProbablyPlightless: **Sounds like a plan.

**Spencer1123**: I rented this documentary about Stephen Hawking's theory of Everything. I think it might be available on instant play...

**probablyPlightless: **Um..

**Spencer1123:** I'm kidding.

**ProbablyPlightless**: Oh. :) Alright. I'm flipping through the guide right now...

Ooh! The Philidelphia Story is on!

**Spencer1123**: What channel?

**ProbablyPlightless**: TCM

**Spencer1123**: Okay, I am queueing it up right now...

**ProbablyPlightless**: You are in for a treat, darling. :)

**Spencer1123**: I'm sure I am.

–

The conversation seamlessly sailed through the film and into the early hours of the morning. Even when his exhausted eyes would droop shut, he couldn't tear himself away from her. It had been the easiest, least nerve-wracking date he had ever been on. The space between them had not impacted their communication. If anything, it helped him gain confidence.

That night helped him realize that Austin was the perfect girl for him. And Reid was falling for her.

--

Another week and a half passed blissfully for them. His voicemail and email inboxes were filled with reminders of her. He found himself in the dark of a Denver hotel room drawn to his computer screen, going over old emails and being mesmerized by her words...

* * *

_So on my way home from work, the ever-allusive "Please go away" song started playing again. I have heard this song countless times, and I love it, but I CAN'T find the song title or artist!! I'm getting extremely frustrated. I need to solve this, for my sanity's sake!_

_I'm off to consult the ever-helpful Google. Wish me luck..._

_XO,_

_~Austin._

* * *

_Turns out, when you mishear the lyrics, it makes it impossible to find the accurate lyrics. In my defense, the way its sung "please go all the way" sounds like "please go away". I was searching with innacurate data... Anyways, my empty-handed searches are finally vindicated! It's "Go All The Way" by the Raspberries. Just so you don't have to suffer as I have._

_Hopefully your case ends up being as easy to solve as mine was... ;)_

_Stay safe!_

_~Austin_

* * *

_I've been tossing and turning all night, a futile attempt at trying to fall asleep. Not even awful infomercials can coax me back to sleep... :( So now here I am, banging away at my keyboard, drinking some delicious Earl Gray tea and listening to some Judy Garland. I'm not sure if it's the sleep-depravity talking, but her music reminds me of what's right with the world. Even with all the poverty, greed, and evil in this world, there are still a few pure things. And Judy's music just embodies that purity, I think. It's just simple and good and virtuous, you know?_

_To answer your inevitable question: no, I have not been drinking. ;) This tea is not spiked, I promise._

_Not sleeping well gives you lots of time to think about things, as I'm sure you're aware of. Like right now, I am thinking about how dusty the picture frame sitting by my computer is, and how as soon as I'm done typing this email, I am going to to attack it with a dust rag. I'm thinking about how far away you are. I'm thinking about how much danger you might be in, working this case. My mind is racing. No wonder I can't sleep._

_Argh. I'm going to go get some more tea... maybe that will help._

_I miss you too!_

_~Austin._

* * *

_It only took two mugs full of Earl Gray, listening to some beautiful Judy Garland renditions, and your phone call to get me to fall asleep. And yet, here I am at nearly six in the morning. Oh well. I have the day off. I'll catch a nap later._

_!!! I think I just saw a mouse.... yuck. Excuse me while I stand on the table and scream girlishly...._

_I'm so tired. Work is slowly draining my life force. Not to mention my noisy next-door neighbors, and tempermental landlord who won't stop calling me a hussy every time I see him. I swear I'm going to snap and strangle someone with one of the knit sweaters I just bought. (on sale!) I'm getting a headache--whether it's from annoying landlords or what, I can't tell._

_I'm off to get some ice cream and try and get in a better mood. :P_

_Miss you lots,_

_~Austin._

* * *

February came, bringing a new whirlwind of emotions for Spencer Reid. Careers and life began to interfere, and they could no longer find time for a ten minute chat, let alone any date nights. He became dependent on voicemails and emails as his only real chance of communicating with her. If an email was the only chance he could connect with her, he would take it every time.

Then the week a day before Valentine's day, for the first time in what felt like forever, he would be having a real date—as real as dinner over the phone could be—with Austin.

The team's early flight and her sacrifice of a Saturday night shift freed up enough time for her to talk him through cooking. Normally the neophyte in the kitchen, he found himself being walked through Tortilla Espanola. In between instructions, they chatted about everything and anything. He was just so at ease listening to her smooth voice on the other end of the phone—he never wanted the conversation to end.

He cradled the phone against his shoulder, and stirred the onions cautiously. In between cooking instructions, he had managed to let slip he had gotten her a Valentine's present. Originally planned as a complete and total surprise, he was simply trying to keep the gift's identity a secret at this point.

"Okay, is it yellow?" Her questions were getting more and more stochastic as the conversation unfolded. And yet, it was completely possible that she had already deduced the gift and was just playing games with him.

"No." He held back a laugh, well aware that laughter would potentially give away more details.

"Can I wear it?"

This time he wasn't so lucky—laughter escaped readily from his lips. "I hope you don't." The idea of wearing a webcam as any type of accessory was enough to make him laugh.

"You have no idea how nice it is to hear that." Her voice was soft and smooth, and he could just imagine the luminous smile lighting up her face. Still, what exactly was the thing that was so nice for her to hear? _I hope you don't_? She quickly clarified, "Your laugh. I miss that."

He smiled to himself—he wasn't the only one longing. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." For a second, he hoped that she truly missed him the way he missed her.

And the tone of her voice suggested that it was true.

---

The rest of the night went perfectly. Conversation did not falter in the least bit. To his complete and total dismay, his cooking was not a complete disaster. He believed this to be a result of a great tutor, but she insisted that there was some natural talent hidden deep in that crowded head of his. Neither phone battery died. He had made the right choice in movie, suggesting a classic musical that coincidentally happened to be her favorite. She exclaimed happily at the end that she would be singing in the rain in homage to how happy she was.

In all, it was the best night he'd had in a long time. He was happier than he'd ever felt.

That next morning, the first thing he wanted to do was call her. Even if it was just to hear her voicemail greeting. Last night had once again hooked him on hearing her voice, and he was going to indulge himself if only for a few seconds.

It rang once, and he fought the urge to hang up.

It rang a second time. Was this too clingy, too needy?

He expected a third ring and was surprised to hear Austin's voice uttering the greeting. Yet it sounded nothing like the vivacious, warm Austin he had spoken to last night. This Austin sounded tired and ailing.

"Are you alright?" She sounded unwell, and that made Reid's stomach tie itself into Square knots.

"Singing in the rain seemed like such a good idea at the time..." Her laughter was marred by a sniffle. Perhaps this was flu? Or a cold? "I think I caught something."

He frowned—while he realized that illness was simply unavoidable, a protective part of him wished she wouldn't be subjected to any misery. "You should go back to sleep. The immune system…"

"Thanks." She sounded agitated. Was it the threat of a statistic causing her to be exasperated? "I'm going to hang up before I throw…" Her sentence was abruptly cut off by the violent sound of vomiting. Reid winced at the sound, and contemplated what to do next. She was in no condition to be talking on the phone, and expecting her to end the phone call would be selfish.

So with her best interest at heart, he hung up and carried on with his Saturday.

–

Another day passed without word from Austin. It was difficult for Reid for countless reasons. His greatest fear at the moment was becoming that clingy, desperate figure he feared. His newfound confidence was cyclical, and he found himself on a downturn.

But simultaneously, he hated the distance between them. He wanted nothing more than to go over to her apartment with a bowl of chicken soup and care for her. He felt useless, knowing that she was under the weather and he

In a moment of indulgence, desperation forsaken, he opened his email and began typing.

_To: Austin_

_Sent 2/8/09 at 9:04 am_

_Subject: No Subject_

I wish I was there. I know how miserable you must be, and if it were possible I would take that misery away from you.

I'll spare you the statistics on flu-related cases, and just tell you that I hope you feel better soon.

~Spence

--

No sooner than he had pressed the send button did he realize if she were as ill as his imagination had visualized her to be, it would probably be some time before she would be checking her email. Her voicemail seemed a more viable option. He grabbed his phone, and was not surprised when it went straight to voicemail.

"Hey Austin, it's me, uh, Spencer. I just realized that you probably won't be checking your email if you're sick, and I just wanted to make sure you knew I'm wishing you well. I mean I want you to get better, not that I'm wishing you well in your illness..." He cleared his throat, realizing how awkwardly that last sentence was phrased. With a sigh, he tried again. "Feel better soon. I miss you."

Desperate for a distraction, he buried himself in the pile of newly-purchased books and waited for his phone to ring.

--

He waited three days before he tried calling her again. This time it rang four times before it went to voicemail, and he wasn't entirely sure if it was a relief or made him even more concerned. Still, he left his message.

"Hi, it's Spence. Sorry to bother you. I was just checking up on you, wanted to see if you needed anything. I know I'm not there, I'm here in Virginia. But I was just thinking about you all day, and I needed to calm down the part of me that never seems to stop worrying." He cleared his throat. "Call me if there's anything I can do."

He just wanted to hear her voice, make sure that she was alright. It would be the only thing that would calm his nerves, and help him regain his confidence in their relationship.

Tom Petty was right—the waiting was the hardest part.

**AN: First, I must apologize for the long wait. It's inexcusable, and I hope all of you lovely readers will forgive me for it. I will do my best to make the next update faster, but I make no guarantees. **

**Next, I hope you don't mind the format of this chapter. I struggled with this one for a while, which was a contributing factor in the delay. I'm sorry if anybody feels betrayed by the glossing over of the first month of Reid and Austin's relationship. I promise that there's a reason for it.**

**In case you were wondering (which you clearly were. :P) Austin's username on AIM is another Bon Iver lyric (shocking, right?). And when I began this story, it was the working title. In fact, the folder where I save these documents still bears that name. Interesting, right? ****Oh, the "please go away" mystery that Austin mentioned earlier was a true story for me. I finally solved the mystery as I was writing this chapter.**

**Finally, I adore each and every one of you readers/reviewers/alert-ers. You make my gray skies blue. :D Please continue making me happy.**

**More soon! The plot will thicken… Dun dun duuuun….**

**~Iwillbetherewhereyouare **


	6. That Secret That You Know

**Chapter Six – That Secret That You Know**

Valentine's Day was never an easy holiday for Spencer Reid.

Traditionally celebrated as a lover's holiday, there were very few instances where he possessed that necessary element to celebrate the holiday properly. The only consistent gifts he ever received were from his mother. Every year she would, in lieu of chocolates or 99 cent paper valentines, give him the leather-bound gift of Keats and Tennyson.

Early on he had taught himself to simply tolerate the festivities as an outsider, not as an active participant. And for a while, he was content in just avoiding the frivolous Hallmark holiday altogether. This year was different. He was an adult now, and more importantly, he had someone significant enough that he was considering participating in.

On the eve of that romantically-pious holiday, he found himself stalling outside Garcia's door. Desperate for advice, he was willing to overlook the fact that he would be revealing his prime secret for the first time in five weeks. Not to mention the fact that the odds were astronomical that once he revealed to Garcia he had e a girlfriend, that it would not stay a secret for long.

Still, desperate times called for desperate measures.

He raised his fist slowly, noting the subtle tremble in his hand, and knocked twice on her door. Behind the thick barrier, he could hear her feisty voice command, "Enter!"

Swallowing his nerves, he pushed through and entered her office. The small cubicle was illuminated with the lights from her computer screen. Penelope Garcia was furiously punching keys on her keyboard, and did not even break to catch his gaze.

"Garcia, do you have a minute?" He sincerely hoped his whisper would not show the tremors in his voice. That feeling of anxiety was like he had been caught and sent to the Principal's office.

"For you, sweet cheeks? Always." With flourish, she concluded her typing, and spun around. Her blonde curls bounced as she turned to face him. "What's up?"

Seeing her incandescent smile eased his nerves slightly. "I need your advice on something."

"The infalliable Dr. Reid needs my advice on something?" Whether it was completely or only partially sarcastic, he wasn't sure. In silence, she glanced at him analytically. He was wringing his hands nervously and his cheeks had a faint shade of pink to them that normally did not exist. The longer she stared him down, the less he actually looked back.

"By the way you're wringing your hands and avoiding eye contact, I'm guessing this has nothing to do with a case?" She smiled smugly, confident in her accuracy.

Times like this made Reid suspect she was secretly a profiler. "It's about…a girl." He inwardly flinched at the use of the word girl. She wasn't a girl, she was a grown woman.

Garcia raised one eyebrow, but said nothing. She simply allowed the young genius to work his way through what she assumed would become a classic Spencer Reid ramble.

The silence felt like an interrogation. He had sat through many intense cross-examinations before, but this was different. He was being grilled by an absurdly observant friend and coworker. _Just give it up, _he told himself. "It's about my girlfriend."

Garcia's jaw dropped to the floor—she couldn't believe what had just been declared. "Girlfriend?"

Slightly more relieved, he nodded and flashed a half-grin. Looking absolutely incredulous, she repeated that word with a little more

Folder in hand, she proceeded to gently slap his arm and scowl at him. "You have a girlfriend? And you've been holding out on me? No one keeps secrets from me, you should _know _this by now."

He smiled to himself, half proud that he had managed to keep something secret. "I'm sorry. I haven't told anyone."

"You know you can always talk to your goddess divine! Now, what relationship advice can I divvy for you? I assume that is what you need my advice on."

"It's Valentine's day tomorrow."

Her eyes bulged out in mock surprise. "Wow, cute and observant. You're quite a catch." Noting how this bitingly sarcastic comment affected him, she back tracked and took a more earnest approach.

"Give her flowers and buy her dinner. They call it classic for a reason."

"Oh, Austin hates flowers. Too many ex-boyfriends used flowers as restitution for misgivings." Not to mention the fact that she was several states away from him.

"So just take her out to a fancy dinner, and I promise she will be swooning."

"I can't." He admitted, "She lives in Georgia."

Garcia sucked in a deep breath. "Ooh, long distance. That's quite the conundrum."

"Precisely. I was hoping for something a little more...inspired. We've functioned this far on phone calls and online chatting, but I just want something atypical, especially given the context of romance's major holiday. Did you know that one billion cards get sent out on Valentine's day alone?"

She stopped paying attention after _precisely_. The gears in her mind started turning, and suddenly the answer became clear. It was simple yet perfect.

"So easy, even a genius can do it. Go and visit her." The way Garcia spoke the words, it made the suggestion seem so simple and obvious. Like he should have thought of it himself. "You have vacation days, don't you?"

He felt hesitant. "Yeah, but…"

"But what? You haven't seen each other in…"

"Five weeks." It felt odd to know exactly how many days it had been since he had seen her. But since there was no definite end to the streak, all he could do was count the time. "Are you sure it's not too... desperate?"

"Desperate? No. Gallant, yes." Her smile was confident, assertive that this idea was the right one. "Trust me, sweetcheeks. I would not lead you astray."

Surrendering control over a situation was never easy for Reid. Especially admitting he practically knew nothing in this situation. But to win Austin's heart, he would do whatever it took. Even if it meant wading into unfamiliar waters.

--

Standing outside of Hotch's office was slightly less nerve wracking as outside of Garcia's had been. Vacation time was all he wanted now, and it wouldn't really be all that difficult to get. He wouldn't have to give details, and if Hotch asked, there was always the old standby—his mother. It wasn't surprising to anyone for something to come up with his mother that would require his attention. No one would get suspicious, and no one would ask any questions.

He knocked on the door, and entered after a verbal command from his superior.

"Reid." Hotch's way of asking what was wrong. He briefly glanced up from his mountain of paperwork to look sternly at the agent. _Stay calm_, Reid reminded himself. There was nothing to be anxious about.

"Hotch, I was wondering if I could use a few of my vacation days." He interviews criminals regularly, and asking for time off to see his girlfriend made him uncomfortable? Something seemed off with the equation...

"Hm." Indifferent, not investigative. That was a positive sign. Hotch was never one to pry into his team's personal lives, and at the moment Reid was grateful for that fact. "Is it emergent?

"Not _entirely_. I just have some personal issues that I need to deal with."

Hotch froze temporarily. The last time Reid had "personal issues" was under far worse circumstances. The team's leader had noticed some secretive behavior ever since Phoenix, but said nothing. Had that been the wrong call? Was Reid having a relapse, or something more serious and life-threatening? His mind wandered to dark and scary places.

He cleared his throat, and tried to remain calm. "Well, we don't have any cases at the time. I think we can afford to be without you until Wednesday. We will do our best to give you your time, but if something comes up, I will call you."

Reid nodded—his job had to come first. "That's fine. Thank you."

He turned on his heels, and headed towards the safety of his desk, when he heard Hotch clear his throat once again. _Didn't think you would get away that easily, did you_?

"Reid." Hotch called out with a terse voice. Reid looked over his shoulder to find his normally phlegmatic boss looking particularly concerned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

The young agent gave him a sincere smile and nodded. "I'm fine." And walked out of his office quickly.

All Aaron Hotchner could do was hope. Hope it was his imagination carrying him away on a false notion. Hope that whatever Reid was hiding was not serious. Hope that everything would be alright.

–

Leaving Hotch's office sparked a sudden contemplation of how events were playing out. Particularly, why he was being so secretive about this. Normally a private person, he was lying and caching one of the most important details of his life at the time. The only other thing he had kept this close to the vest was his drug addiction, in which motives were obvious. This was not a dark and dangerous secret. So why was he so protective of one of the greatest things to ever happen to him?

Because he was waiting—waiting for the inevitable to happen. Chaos. Unhappiness. Loneliness. He was waiting for the relationship to end, and he could not handle the humilation of his team member's knowing too.

Three steps outside of Aaron Hotchner's office. That was as far as he made it before Morgan crept up on him with a mischievous grin on his face. Cynically, Reid thought to himself that no good could come from whatever caused his coworker to resemble the Cheshire cat.

Once caught up, Morgan wrapped one arm around his shoulder and his cheeky grin intensified. "Reid, Reid, Reid. Just the man I wanted to see." This merely confirmed Reid's hypothesis of pending debauchery.

"What do you want?" He calculated how much force it would require to peel Morgan's beefy arm away from his frame. Resigning himself to an unmarked amount of time listening without refuge, he remained under his thumb, so to speak.

"Got any Valentines day plans?" When Reid said nothing, Morgan continued the conversation without him. "Because I have got the woman for you..."

Reid cleared his throat—how would he avoid this situation without divulging his secret? "I'm sorry Morgan, I can't."

Morgan groaned noisly, and refused to let himself be ignored. "Come on, Reid. I saw how you were with that bartender in Georgia. You're not as inept as you think. Fear is no reason to stay on the sidelines, kid."

With a grin, Reid held his tongue. Fear was keeping him "on the sidelines" as Morgan described it. Continuing with that ridiculous sports metaphor, Reid was secretly in the game.

Suddenly filled with bravado and desperate to get his pestering to cease, Reid abruptly turned and looked Morgan straight in the eyes. "Morgan, it's not that. I'm taking some time off to deal with some personal matters, and I'd really appreciate if you would cease and desist on all matchmaking endeavors involving myself."

The playful mischief in his face was suddenly replaced with remorse. In his eyes, Reid saw that look of pity. Whenever his mother experienced a breakdown, that look that seemed more apologetic than anything. He hated that look.

Silently, the two reached their desks, and Morgan finally released his grip on Reid.

It was then they noticed a beautiful and curvy blonde sitting at Reid's desk. Garcia was waiting for him, spinning slowly and nonchalantly in his desk chair. Her loud floral print skirt swayed with the motion, and her face remained still with patience. "About time. So I've been cruising the web, trying to find you a good deal on your flight, among other things."

Reid swallowed hard—this was the moment he had been dreading. Teasing would be coming inevitably. Garcia handed him a small pile of printed papers, her crimson lips turned up in a half grin.

"Thank you." He cleared his throat, snatched the papers, and stalked off before Morgan could find out the truth, and begin the taunting.

"Alright, mama. You have got to fill me in on what's going on with Reid."

She felt conflicted—betray a secret that had been entrusted in her by a seemingly untrusting coworker, or divulge every last detail to her chocolate god. Her instincts were to spill, but in this case she would have to take another approach...

"Sorry, I'm afraid this tech goddess is like that infamous song by the Go Go's." Returning to her feet, she pressed out the wrinkles in her skirt, and looked to Morgan. His brows were furrowed in confusion, at both Garcia's sudden secrecy and her reference. Seductively, she ran her perfectly manicured finger along his perfectly chiseled jawline and grinned. "My lips are sealed."

–

The entire ride home was spent contemplating logistics. Plans for travel and packing. Garcia had bookmarked several options for restaurants and potential date venues. It felt like he could breathe a little easier now that he wasn't lying to every single person on his team.

Each step he took towards his door made him exponentially more excited for the coming days. If everything went according to plan, he would soon be seeing Austin. It was enough to make his heart pound furiously. Every step he spent calculating how the weekend would unfold.

But there was nothing he could have done to mentally prepare himself for what was waiting around that corner.

"Austin." He said in a daze. It was unfathomable that the girl he cared so passionately for, the girl he was about to travel to see, was standing before him.

"Hey." She sounded tired, and it was almost like she was forcing herself to seem amiable. "Sorry I didn't call first. I wanted it to be a surprise."

He grinnned slightly, still trembling from the adrenaline. "Mission accomplished."

"Can we talk?" Her segue was non-existent, and her curtness darkened Reid's sense of optimism. Still, he was eager to appease her. He reached into his pocket, whipped out the key, and opened his door. Internally grateful that he had picked up his modest apartment before leaving for work, he navigated her through his dimly lit kitchen. Once they were in the living room, both seemed to collapse onto the couch. She looked exhausted from her travels; he was just too happy to see her to even think properly.

"We need to talk, and I didn't want to do this over the phone."

He lifted his hand, hoping it wasn't shaking too much. He needed to appear confident. "Wait. Before we discuss whatever you wanted to discuss, let me just say something." He took a deep breath, and uncharacteristically spoke exactly what he was feeling. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I've missed you so much."

She halfheartedly smiled, as if she was dragging her facial expressions through quick-drying cement. "I missed you too." Her body language and tone seemed to dispute this statement.

"So what's on your mind?" His optimism was fading now. Something was wrong, _extremely _wrong.

She looked down—appearing somewhere between guilty and remorseful. Every time she opened her lips to speak, nothing would come out. It was just nervewracking for the both of him. She had something she wanted—no, needed—to say, and he just could not handle the wait.

Guilt. That was definitely the emotion weighing heavily in her eyes. There was something she needed to tell him, and she looked extremely upset about it. His heart plummeted into his stomach, as if it were some tawdry theme park ride. He was unable to breathe. Every worst fear he'd concocted about their relationship seemed shockingly possible now. She couldn't handle the distance any more. He had done something wrong, been too needy, and scared her away. It was all over.

He motioned for her to continue. She took a deep breath, and whispered. "Reid, I think I'm pregnant."

**Dun dun dun...**

**Review please! I absolutely love hearing what you guys think, and I'm curious if your theories were correct or not. :) Your support keeps me glued to my computer, making more chapters. :D **

**I promise to update as soon as I can. But with classes starting soon, I cannot make any concrete promises.**

**Oh, and I'm extremely excited for September 23rd. !!!**

~IWillBeThereWhereYouAre


	7. That Secret That We Know

**Chapter Seven – That Secret That We Know**

One word. One word was noisily swimming about his mind, causing all function to cease. _Pregnant. _Austin was pregnant. Or, rather, she _thought _she was pregnant. That phrasing was key. As of that exact moment, it was merely an untested hypothesis.

Neither had spoken one word since Austin's stunning revelation. There was not one combination of words that could effectively assist in the coping with the given situation. Pregnant. Austin was pregnant, and carrying his offspring. The room was a tornado of mixed emotions, and neither of them had anything to ground themselves with.

"Have you... taken a test?" Normally bumbling, he found the words even harder to put together than a thousand piece puzzle of clear blue skies. Still, there was no point in having matching panic attacks without causation.

She shook her head. "I figured it out last night. I didn't even think, I just got on the first plane and came here. I was too scared to do it alone."

It was somewhat of a relief to know that she saw him as a source of comfort. But in his panicking and confused state, there was no true solace anywhere.

"I don't understand how this could have happened." It was not the logistics that confused Reid—he understood the functionality of the reproductive system. But he and Austin had used a condom. They'd been safe, in avoidance of this exact scenario.

The look on her face said that the same idea crossed her mind countless times in the last twenty four hours. "Really think about what happened that night.

So he examined the hazy fog of those memories, only for new details to surface this time...

–

"_Can you get it?" She asks with a drunken giggle. The irony is not lost on her—the genius can't unwrap a condom. It opens, and both of them smile at each other, and start up again where they had been before._

_A few seconds later, he hears the soft, barely there sound of latex ripping. Other possible explinations were innumerous, and possibly attributed to the drinking. But being an undying pragmatist, Reid assumed the worst._

"_Did you hear that?" His voice was a raucous whisper in the silent room. "I think it ripped."_

"_What ripped?" Her lips were still attached to his collarbone, muffling every single word she spoke. She quickly realized what he meant, and immediately stopped. "Do you want to stop?"_

_He deliberated silently while she sat and watched. It was a very strong possibility that he was simply imagining it. Sex was not something that was hushed, and there were countless other possibilities (including his inebriation) that could explain_

"_No. I want to." He pulled her body closer, zealously pushing his lips against hers, as if to her persuade her. "Must've been the wind."_

_She believed him. And more importantly, he believed himself._

–

In that moment, it had seemed like such a logical explanation. Now, facing the full consequences of his hasty and reckless decision, he lamented his lack of diligence. That realization changed the possibility that Austin was in fact pregnant into a very likely reality.

"Oh." Before he had been clinging to the imprudent hope that it was just simply an egregious mistake. But now, his hopes gone, he had to face the reality: Austin might actually be pregnant.

"I'm so sorry." Each syllable was elongated and saturated with absolute remorse. As if this whole scenario was completely blamed on her.

He took a deep breath, desperate to effectively express what he truly felt. "This is _not_ your fault, Austin. We both made mistakes, and I refuse to let you take all the responsibility." Looking to her, he noticed a tiny light—something resembling a dying spark—illuminating her face. Like the tiniest beacon of hope in a normally dark expression. Maybe he was doing something right. "There's a pharmacy nearby. We'll go buy a test and we'll deal with whatever comes later."

--

Gray clouds that looked like they belonged in a watercolor circulated the sky above them, ominiously threatening snow. Reid could feel the arctic chill growing inside him, numbing him to all feelings or emotions. His somewhat calm demeanor back at his apartment had quickly shifted back to absolute petrifaction in the car. There was just so much to digest that his ability to process had shut down.

Then he realized how selfish he was being. This entire time he had focused on the implications of her news on him, and failed to even think about what it was doing to her. How this was probably ravishing her on an even grander scale. It was selfish to think that he was the only one facing something so life-changing.

So he looked at her, looking for some sort of physical hint as to her feelings. Instead, all he could notice was how her face, unusually motionless and paler than he'd remembered, was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes upon. This was still the woman he'd anticipated seeing what felt like eons ago. And it became apparent that his feelings for her had not changed. His heart still pounded at the thought of her, and if the results came back positive, he would still care for her.

Her arm was resting on the armrest, laying limply, almost aching to be touched. In a brazen moment of weakness, he placed one hand on top of hers, and gave her a smile. She reciprocated, though her grin was small and tired. But she did not move her hand away from his, and even squeezed back slightly.

His heart thawed slightly at her touch.

The pharmacy was fairly empty, which given circumstances. Adult contemporary radio was humming softly in the background, singing about the grandness of love. A bored college student sat behind the cash register, noisily smacking her gum and flipping through some fashion magazine. Austin and Reid, the only customers in the store, slowly strode towards that back aisle. At some point in the walk between car door and down the pharmacy aisles, their hands had become separated. The chasm between them grew with every dreadful step. Eventually he had separated from her, and found himself staring at one small box, sitting at the end of an aisle. One small box had managed to enthrall him so deeply, opened his eyes, and forced him to remember what he had felt only a few hours ago.

The small box in his hand, he quickly approached the cashier and purchased it. He slipped it in his pocket with the receipt, and caught up with Austin when she had reached the pregnancy test aisle. One small purple box rested in her trembling hands, and the look of sheer terror on her face said more than any words could.

She said nothing as they walked towards the checkout. Neither did he, for that matter. They'd long passed the point of having anything to say. He contemplated grabbing her hand again, but the lone empty hand was clenched tightly into a fist. And unwilling to admit it was simply a coincidence, he dejectedly kept his hand in his pocket.

He handed the cashier his credit card before the young girl even had a chance to scan the test. Knowing Austin, she would try and pay for herself, without intervention on his end.

Purchase in hand, they return to the car. Reid opens the door for her once more, and for a second they linger. Looking deep into each others eyes, as if some answers were hidden deep inside them. One hand in his pocket brushes up against the small cardboard box, and in a flash of remembrance, he pulls out the small box of candy hearts, and musters up the best grin he could manage. "I can't believe I almost forgot it was Valentine's day."

She wants to smile. She wants to pull on that charcoal gray sweater vest limply hanging to his frame, and kiss those pouty pink lips, pretending like nothing is wrong. She wants to be blissfully happy because she's with her boyfriend, and there is not a single cloud above them ruining this moment. But those dark clouds are circling above them, and she has been so distant with him that she's lost all courage to make a move. So instead, her eyes moisten with tears. That tiny box of chalky hearts was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. "Thank you."

It was Austin who grabbed his hand on the drive home. And for a second, both of them forgot the contents of that paper pharmacy bag sitting on Austin's lap.

–

Eyes permanently attached to the light oak door leading to his bathroom, he sat at the edge of his bed and waited. At the time it seemed like a gallant gesture to give her absolute and total privacy. But now, trapped on the outside, he felt totally useless. Each second seemed longer than the one it followed.

Eventually impatience overthrew his noble intents. He stood up from his perch, and made his way towards the bathroom door. Just as he raised his fist to knock, the door swung open. Her eyes were swollen and red, and when they met with his, she let out one sad little whimper. Suddenly and silently, she grabbed her coat and ran out of the apartment.

It left him with two options—knowledge or comfort. The way she rushed out like that, it clearly said that she needed space. Pursuing her could prove detrimental to whatever feelings she had for him. And not following could drive them further apart. This was the conundrum that had led to years of celibacy.

Determining from what he knew of Austin, this time he chose to seek answers and give her the space she needed. In the bathroom, sitting at the bottom of a barely-filled trashcan, lay one used pregnancy tests. He crouched down, and instantly noticed two lines.

He fell to the floor—every last hope that he clung to, that this mistake had not produced such dire consequences, slowly drifted away.

She was pregnant.

–

Pregnant. It seemed like such an implausible concept at first, at least that's how she deluded herself initially. When her nausea faded as the day went on, only to resurface in the morning. When she realized that her clockwork period had skipped a beat. She continually told the nagging part of her that knew, it just wasn't possible.

Now, she had an alarming amount of proof that it was not just possible—it was a reality.

Walking along an unfamiliar road, in a strange town, nothing seemed to register. Snow trickled down from the dark grey sky, and she could barely feel its coldness. All that she could focus on was the solid fact that she was having someone's baby.

Her experiences with mothers were not great. Her own mother had an innumerous amount of problems that trickled down to affect her life and her sister's life. The things that she had been subjected to as a child certainly made her question her ability to give a child a stable environment. Sure, Charlotte had gotten some of the things right. But the differences between her and her sister were very stark in juxtaposition.

It wasn't that she was vehemently opposed to children. There had been fleeting moments where she'd considered growing up, settling down, and having a kid. But they always flittered away like daydreams tended to do. She had to always be realistic. There was no way she would be able to support a child.

Then again, things were different now. This wasn't just some average dirt bag that she tended to fall for. Spencer Reid was a great guy, and she really cared for him. She had never really felt like this about anyone before. And the absolute last thing she wanted to do was trap him in such a selfish way.

But could she see herself—could she see _them—_having a child? Could she do this?

–

Could they do this?

Statistics and facts flooded his confused mind. The longer he tried to imagine raising a child, the more terrified he became. Had he not been abandoned by his own father and spent his entire life caring for his mother, it still would be difficult for him to imagine that future for himself. With his career, being away constantly solving cases across the country, he could not envision being a strong parental unit. Then there was his family history

But he _knew _that this could no longer be solely about him. This was about her, and it was her decision. His job would be to support her, no matter what.

It seemed so strange, that in the collection of his opinions, he had always remained distant. His views on the subject were always theoretical, and never really intended for practice. Now, facing this life-altering event, it felt odd to put his opinions into use. It was pretty damn close to love, what he was feeling for Austin. And no matter what she chose, he was going to stand by her through it all.

All he could do was wait and see if she would ever come back to him.

--

The clock was inching towards the 10:00 mark when he heard a knock at the door. His heart was on the brink of nearly leaping out of his chest. Every minute that had passed since her abrupt departure had wreaked havoc on him. Disastrous premonitions flooded his mind, as he imagined every little thing that could have been happening to her. When he opened the door, his tired eyes saw the most beautiful sight before him.

"Hi." Her voice calmed him like a soft lullaby. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." She could have anything she wanted.

"I'm sorry for running out on you like that. I panicked, and I just needed some space." Both of them stopped when they stood in his living room. "Thank you for being so calm today. I feel like I've been falling to pieces, and you've just been so good to me."

_If she only knew_, he kept to himself. "You know I'd do anything for you."

"I was sitting at a park bench..." She spoke incredulously, as if she'd just walked away from a car accident scot-free. "And I was just bawling my eyes out, because I was so confused and scared..." His stomach twisted in guilt. He should have been there to comfort her. But now wasn't the time for castigation—he had to listen. "But this sweet little old lady came up to me, and asked me what was wrong. I couldn't even speak, I was just sobbing. And she took me in her arms, and told me that everything was going to be okay, because God never gives us anything that we can't handle." Her voice had grown, trembling only slightly. "I'm not really the most religious person, Spence. But there was just something about what she said that…gave me…hope, I guess."

Admittedly, his views on religion were far bleaker than his girlfriend's. Still, he waited for her to continue in dutiful silence.

"I think I'm going to keep the baby, Spencer." She whispered, new trembles in her soft voice. "And I just want you to know that there is no pressure on you at all. I can handle this myself, I can raise this child and I'll do it alone if I have to."

Suddenly all the certainty before that he would be supportive regardless of her choice caught in his throat, leaving him speechless. He simply did not have the right words to tell her.

She had only waited a few seconds in silence before continuing on without him. "But know that this doesn't change the way I feel about you." She reached out, fervently grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. "I'm falling for you, Spence. If you still want to be with me through all this…" She wandered off, and quickly regained control. "But I don't want you to stick with me just because you feel obligated because of the baby. I want you to stick around for me."

That thought had never crossed his mind, in all honesty. He had never felt obligated to stay because she was pregnant. He felt obliged to her because he felt incomplete without her.

He brushed her cheek with his left hand. "Trust me--I want to be with you." And it was so genuine and sincere, that there was no reason for her not to believe it.

At that, her eyes flooded with tears of joy, and an escaping giggle was marred by a sob. And even though she was crying, her resulting smile, for the first time all day, was pure and did not have a hint of sadness in it. He swooped in, tenderly pressing his lips against hers.

For the moment, things seemed perfect. Neither fully understood at the time what they were getting themselves into. But just for that moment, as they were kissing in the middle of his living room, it was just enough for them to be happy.

**While I wish it would not have taken me almost two months to post this, I really had no choice. **

**This chapter has been "written" pretty much the entire time, I just lacked the time to type and post. That's what college will do to you--rob you of your free time (and your sleep. ;) ) So I've made this chapter super-long to make up for it.**

**Also, I'm on twitter now (I caved.) ****.com/CriManSqua****. Check it out. ;)**

**Thank you THANK YOU for all the support and the reviews! I promise to update when I can. :D You guys all rock!**

**~IWillBeThereWhereYouAre**


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